Thursday, March 29, 2012

What do I want....

I didn't post on Tuesday because I have been contemplating my navel and that can be time consuming. Two different individuals, professionals we will call them, have asked me what I wanted or what my goals were around a number of personal things.  They both stated that they didn't want me to write down what other people wanted of me, or what was expected of me.  They wanted me to state or put into a goal what I wanted, just for myself.

So I did the obvious thing and totally avoided the first persons request until the second person asked the same thing. I have a personal policy, if two people ask you to do something you are dragging on, do it, that is your sign from the universe you REALLY need too.

This leads to what I want and what goals I have for myself. Goals as a whole are droll and bother me on some terribly epic level, I see them as the BS and generally just another method by which to be overly critical so I am skipping them and talking wants with you.  Now these aren't the wants like winning the lottery or having a live in maid, these are the wants the things I want to strive for and they can be in any arena of your life.  Here we go....

I want...
To be able to spend time with my family exploring, experimenting and generally enjoying each other.  I don't mean that I want that time to be doing the laundry, cleaning the house, chauffeuring the kids and running errands either.

To not feel as old as the guy 10 years older than me on the elliptical next to me at the gym. I know this may sound like winning the lottery, but it isn't really.  I want to eat healthy food, exercise enough to run away from the angry dogs in the neighborhood, not wake up or get up from the couch making the old noises(and you all know what those are), and be able to just occasionally school the kids in something physical.  Why I may be joking about this, I am working on getting myself in shape, healthy and once again comfortable in my skin.

To have a career that is intellectually challenging, allows me to feel like I an helping not hurting, and that meets the financial needs of our family.  Seeing that it feels like I spend most of my energy at work and currently I am not off feeding the poor; I would hope that instead of people seeing me as some crazed overly rigid process looned out woman they see me as someone who is trying to help make things better and more consistent. Hey at least I care right...

To be the kind of person that has a great group of friends I keep in touch with using more than just Facebook and occasionally actually see in real life.  I have the friends, just not investing the time in them like I should be, and Facebook is my primary means of communication.  Yes, I suck.

To assist in the betterment of my community and assist in the things
I care about. There is only so much time so my current volunteering is limited to the kids school and the occasional work organized event, but I truly do love volunteering and the sense of community it brings.

Enough financial security to be able to take care of whatever the latest therapy is that Bean needs without giving something up or be able to spend a weekend away without feeling bad about spending the money.  We like most people seem to constantly try to balance saving up with the mounting cost of groceries and sometimes it is just a total pain.

The kids to be happy, well adjusted, loving adults who don't live in our house, hold jobs and have mostly fond memories of childhood.  Barring that, that the kids to not need so much therapy as adults that they feel like we need to pay for it.

I accept that there are only so many hours and I have only so much energy, but little by little year after year I hope to at least come to peace with these wants and be able to find a balance.

Though, if by some crazed work ethic, that we all know I don't have, these wants are achieved next on the list will be a personal chef, maid, and financial independence so I don't have to work.

If someone asked you what would you want, without anyone else s' expectations needs just you??


  1. What a great list. May you get all the things you want and more (like the chef, maid and $$).

  2. That's a great list Erica! And I suck just as badly as you on the seeing friends outside of Facebook...I need to add scrapbooking to the Facebook thing...even though it's real time interaction, I get so caught up in my kids life and family time that I don't do enough stuff with friends. And I'm shallow enough to say that my wants, without anyone else's independence so that my family and I can explore this giant world of ours; a maid; a chef; a personal trainer; and a personal shopper. Because I'm all about having fun, and if I didn't have these other adult chores hanging over my head all the time, just think of the fun I could have! :)