Monday, February 27, 2012

Work vs Home: Up to my ears in mom guilt

In the next week between the two kids there are at least four activities, appointments, or school presentations that will take me away, or could take me, away from work before my usual business hours end of day.  I work a for a some what flexible company that allows me the chance to occasionally, frequently lately; attend meetings, events and activities during my work hours. I of course make the hours up, but there is a point when too much is too much.  I want to make sure I am not taking advantage of my work situation but still be there for my family, but how?

Sadly as of late I am making the must appointments and passing on the class presentations and optional 'fun' things and this is starting to tick me off. Time moves by and the kids may or may not even notice our presence at events, but I want to be there to cheer them on. Currently due to the high number of assessments, doctor appointments, and other innocuous meetings being able to show my support is not always going to be at the big presentation, which Bean has two of in the next two weeks. She will learn from all these events and know I love and support her, but I still will have the 'mom guilt', the knowledge I wasn't there to see her shine.

So how do you combat the mom guilt?

I have thrown pity parties for the mom guilt, it didn't go away. I listened to other moms mom guilt, it didn't go away.  I have talked to it, cajoled in and finally I think accepted it. I have accepting that the mom guilt will not go away and that it is OK. I will still try to make everything and feel bad when I don't', but knowing I tried and I wanted to will have to be enough.  Hopefully years from now when her sits on her therapists couch and talks about how I was never there for her I will have come to accept it, because at least she won't be talking about how I never loved her, just that I wasn't always there.  Though in her heart she will know I always wanted to be, but that sometimes you just can't.

Do you have mom guilt?  Did you kick her out for good and how?


  1. Mom guilt never goes away, but I've realized i can't do it all and forgive myself. I am lucky that I have parents & in-laws who pick up the slack and fill in when I can't be at those events. I also know I am are lucky I can attend at least some things. There are parents who don't have any flexibility in their jobs. I must admit, however, that I am secretly jealous of stay-at-home moms...I would love to see what it is like to be the room parent, attend PTA meetings, drop the kids off at school and pick them up after school. I hope Max doesn't get too embarrassed when I drop him off at college each morning and pick him up after classes are done for the day. :)

  2. I like Laura dropping them off at college every day sounds like a great plan. Maybe we can delude ourselves they will get in less trouble that way.