Thursday, June 9, 2011

Far Away Friendships

 We have started a bit of a tradition on Memorial Day. Some friends who live in Washington come to town and we have a BBQ, have all the friends over and usually end up at the Zoo or the Discovery Center, depending on the weather. This was the first year that when I mentioned our friends arrival coming The Things got excited. Both remembered their friends from the year before and remembered their love of Star Wars and started talking about their visit last year. This is also happening with a few other sets of friends who don’t live so close, and we have all been too busy to catch up with more than about once a year. Having The Things remember their friends makes the experiences of their visits all the better.

These friendships that are being developed will hopefully continue in years to come, but Thing One seems to be at a bit of a disadvantage being the only girl in this group. Of the three groups of friends who come and go with some type of yearly visit there is only a single girl near Thing Ones age. So far the girl thing hasn’t been too bad, but defiantly there is a point when Thing Two takes over the boy play and Thing One wanders off. Thing One has always been independent and a bit of a loner, so I think it has as much to do with her needing a break as the whole boy thing. I always say she is going to end up being the last minute date for all these boys when their girlfriends dump them right before the big dance. Honestly though, Thing One seems to truly enjoy the relationships she has with these far away friends. When we meet up again with these friends, she has gotten over the shyness that can sometimes plague her and immediately saunters over to these far away friends and falls in with them starting up a chat.

Thing Two has what I consider a classic boy relationship with most of these friends. These boys are almost all older and Thing Two looks up to them, wants to be friends with them and is always anxious to play. He immediately grabs a friend in the house and either leads them to the video games or takes them outside to whoop around like crazies. These friendships he sees as not separated by miles or distance, just the ability to be in the same proximity. There is no catching up needed for Thing Two, just a body willing to play. He is flexible to try most activities any of these kids are up too, as long as he gets to participate and not be treated as a baby or the little brother.

These people that flit in and out of our lives are really always with us and we always enjoy their company so much. I am thrilled that the kids all get along and hope this continues for years to come. I hope that these children thrown together by their parents’ enjoyment of each other keeps these kids trying to find common ground with each other, whether it is yearly or bi-yearly. At the age most of these guys are at they are flexible in their play and interests and don’t always need too much in common, but I know this will not always be the case. At some point these kids will have to work to find commonality, and I hope with every part of me they do. I hope they stay connected, not just as a parent who wants to hang out with another parent I love, but because all these kids bring diversity and uniqueness to the Things lives.


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